I have now delivered a precious little baby six times. You would think: “Six times! She’s got it down!” Nope. It’s never easy. In fact, it seems almost worse because I had five other times to remember how hard it was…and next time, Lord willing, I will have six memories 🙂
At about 30 weeks pregnant I started swelling. That was a new “pregnancy symptom” for me. Honestly, when women used to talk about swelling in pregnancy I didn’t think it sounded like a big deal. It does now. Mine was so bad my feet started to crack and I felt like my calves were going to burst open! Miserable. The only solution was to lay around (which I hate) and elevate my feet. On the days that I wouldn’t do this my swelling was like a bajillion times worse.
A couple weeks after the swelling started my blood pressure began increasing and so of course the scary word: preeclampsia started to be tossed around. The annoying thing was that this increased my anxiety which increased my blood pressure. It also increased at bedtime. Parents know what I am talking about! One night after a frustrating bedtime adventure my blood pressure was 154/100! I eventually handed bedtime every night off to my husband and took an epsom salt bath while he dealt with our dehydrated philosophers that needed a hug. Continue reading
Me holding our second reversal baby: Sweet Chloebug.
Scott and I really struggled with the decision on how many children to have. I think it is a bigger decision than deciding who you will marry. Let me explain. Who you marry will affect many (especially yourself) but how many children you choose to have determines if someone is born! And if you decide to let that someone be born then you are deciding for generations of others to be born! That is insane. That is scary. That is sobering. And yet, so many flippantly decide to stop having children because, quite frankly, “they’re DONE!”.
I remember vividly standing in the kitchen doing dishes when Scott and I were in the middle of deciding to have a vasectomy reversal or not and I said to the Lord: “I just don’t feel like I am wise enough to decide if and when life should come into this world.” That was a turning point for me…
I have what is called hyperemesis, you can read about it here. Basically I am ridiculously sick throughout my entire pregnancy. I puke… A LOT and I am always nauseous, up till the moment they come out (I puke even through out labor). This is difficult. When Scott and I got married we said we would let God plan our family… that was before I had ever been pregnant and experienced what felt like death… ironically while my body was producing life!
After that first pregnancy I was terrified to get pregnant ever again! “I can’t keep doing this!” I thought. “How am I going to home school and have kids back to back and be sick 24 hours a day?!” Continue reading
Who remembers the scene in Back to the Future when Marty McFly’s siblings started disappearing out of a photo? (I couldn’t find the actual scene but I did find someone showing the photo) I didn’t realize when I first watched it as a kid what impact that scene would have on me as a grown adult/mommy.
After three very difficult, sick pregnancies Scott and I decided (mostly after me nagging him to death) that it would be best for us to stop having children and look into adoption instead. So a few short months after our third baby was born Scott had a vasectomy.
A few months after the surgery this scene from Back to the Future popped into my mind… oh how I tried to forget it… but I couldn’t… I just kept thinking of the children that were being erased out of our family photo because of our decision.
Here’s the good news: By God’s grace this decision was ‘reversible’ for us. Sadly for others, that hasn’t been the case. So after much prayer and support from our wonderful church, Scott went ahead and had a reversal!
About 5 months later I found out we were pregnant again!!! We were both so joy-filled and yet I was also so scared. My pregnancies were terrible, even landing me in the hospital because of dehydration from constant puking. I was resolved though to trust God and research more on how to combat hyperemesis. Continue reading